Letter #49: I got used to the idea of not having you, but it seems to me that I will never accept it
Updated: Jun 8, 2020
I got used to not talking to you every day.
I got used to not knowing about you every moment of my day.
I got used to not seeing a message from you when I woke up.
I got used to the idea of letting you go.
I got used to not contacting you every time something reminded me of you.
I got used to remembering our moments without suffering them.
I got used to missing you and not telling anyone about it.
I got used to your presence in my dreams.
I got used to the memory of your kisses.
I got used to living without you but still, I miss you madly.
I don't want to meet anyone else because every piece of my heart still belongs to you.
I don't want anyone to see me with someone else because I'm not ready to leave you behind.
I'm just not ready to rule you out from my life.
I'm still incomplete because you are not here with me.
I know that this 'separation' was my decision, however, the pressure in my chest is big enough to ask myself every single day if you are going to be my forever love.
All the time I wonder if it's normal what I feel for you?.
All the time you are in my thoughts, it is impressive.
I suffer with the idea of knowing that the day will never come when you miss me.
I suffer knowing that I will not change my mind to go back to be just your friend like we were before.
I suffer by the fact that I do not have the answer on how to forget you.
I suffer to continue feeling you in my skin in spite of the many or few kilometers that separate us in each sunset.
There are no enough words to express how much I miss you.
All I hope is that the day will come where I know that you really know what I am feeling.
I miss you so much.
I love you too much.
I want you too much.
I am happy, but your absence destroys my soul.
I fell in love with you, deep and strong.
I hope to feel for someone else, what I feel for you now days; because if not, a long life awaits for me in the company of (only) myself.
I got used to the idea of not having you, but it seems to me that I will never accept it.
P.S. Even if I don't talk to you or contact you, know that every day, every moment, you live in my mind.
Text by Letters in Quotes®.
Photo by Andrik Langfield.