Letter #63: Leaving here it's breaking my heart.

Updated: Oct 2, 2020

I have no words to describe what I am feeling.

My head is so confused right now.

My heart is so divided right now.

I have no words.

I know that I need to let go... in order to be happy and at peace with everything that's happening.

However, it's breaking my heart the simple thought that, from the next week on, I won't be around anymore.

Lately, crying is the only way that I've been able to express my inner emotions.

Words are not coming out...

Sometimes I cry out of fear, anger and frustration but right now, is out of pure sadness.

Sadness for all the memories we are going to stop creating the second that I'm gone.

Sadness for all the moments I'm going to miss by just being far away.

Sadness for the fact that every day, after a long day, I won't see you there.

I'm trying to think instead of feel.

I'm trying to focus on all the good moments we spent and just be grateful for them.

But instead, I'm focusing on everything that I will be leaving behind, the second that I take that flight.

I can't say goodbye.

I won't say goodbye.

So please, don't ask me to.

I need to do it.

I need to leave.

I don't have a choice.

I wanted to stay, you know that by heart and soul.

I couldn't do it... at least not this time.

There must be a reason for it.

However, I need to know that even when I'm gone, our friendship will forever endure...

Text by Letters in Quotes ®

Photo by Leio McLaren.

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