Updated: Feb 11, 2020
It hurts that our paths separate more each day.
It hurts that you are not willing to fight to have me with you for a lifetime.
The "distance" between us is tangible and real because of your lack of commitment to be together.
"Distance" would not exist if we were both in the same tune.
Because, "distance" means nothing to me when I talk about you.
For many years, I fought against the idea that you didn't want to be with me, but in the end, I gave in to the facts and finally gave up on us.
The only thing that can separate someone from another person is death.
The only thing that can prevent us from being together, lives in your mind.
I will never ask you to do something that you don’t want to do.
The problem is that you never do anything about us.
Today, I am at a time where I got tired of accepting less than what I really want.
Today, my new attitude confuses you because I am finally showing you what I really feel.
Today, there is tension between you and I, due to my lack of communication.
I accept responsibility for my past actions that led you to believe that everything was in harmony.
For a long time, I tried to convince myself that I could only be your friend.
However, I love you and I do know that I want to walk with you this path called life.
The only discrepancy between us is that I do not want your presence in my daily life if you are not willing to fight for me.
Yesterday, I saw us as a "we."
Today, I realise how false that fantasy was, which dictated that there was something else going on between us; and that it was just living there only because of your continuous presence in my head.
When reality actually states that you have your own life and I have mine.
God speaks to us through special signs and connections.
However, God is not in charge of doing all the work for us.
If you want something, you have to go after it.
"Against wind and tide", you have to fight for what you cannot stop thinking at every minute of your life.
Although you have to be aware that there will be a point that no matter how much you do, in the end, you will not get what you want.
But, until you reach the point of exhausting all of your options, do not anticipate in closing that door to never return.
I have exhausted all options to keep you in my life.
Therefore, I can no longer hold on to you.
I can no longer have you near me if you do not show that you also need me.
Your actions are clear and I finally understand that you walk alone, taking what comes to you and letting go easily of what moves away.
Today, I realise that I need someone who loves me at least the same way I do.
It hurts me to realise that you will never change.
But, yes ... I want to tell you that ...
In spite of everything, I admire you.
I admire that, for you, it's you and only you.
If I thought like you do, I would not be the one who is suffering in silence because of your lack of presence in my future plans.
But, I will learn from you, I will return to my original path and I will work on myself as you do.
P.S. Have a good life and keep fighting for your dreams day by day.
Photo by Ethan Sykes.