Letter #39: Getting used to this new reality where you are gone is going to be really hard to handle
Actualizado: 10 de ene de 2020
I can't calm down.
I feel very sad and helpless because I can no longer pick up the phone to call to you.
Your phone line is already disconnected.
I listen to your voice notes every night until the phone locks on its own.
I miss you too much and nobody really knows how much.
Forgive me for being so selfish for wanting you here beside me.
I know that you are already in a better place but I can't calm down and all I need is your words to finally fall asleep and stop these tears.
I miss receiving your phone calls.
Why did you leave so quickly and suddenly?
Why did you leave me when I wasn't ready for you to forever walk away?
We left many plans unfulfilled ...
We missed many things to do and now that you are gone, it hurts to think that we are never going to be able to finish our bucket list.
I miss you so much that I don't even know how to express it anymore.
I need you so much that all I'm doing is shutting down every possible feeling.
I really need you ... nobody knows how much.
Please come back!
Please God, I want her absence in this world to be just a dream.
If you come back, I promise you that I will always answer your calls no matter how busy I am.
I promise I will visit you more often even on my busy days.
I promise that I will be more in touch with you and I will not abandon you as I did in the past years.
I promise I will listen to you more.
I promise to show you more with facts how much I love you.
Please God, I want all of this to be a dream from which I already want to wake up.
The pain is uncontrollable to deal by myself.
There is no one that I want to hear its voice more than I want to hear yours.
I really hope that wherever you are, you're fine and smiling towards us.
I really hope that you are calm and at peace now, and that is the only thing I want at this moment in life.
I miss you so much. There are no enough words to describe.
Getting used to this new reality where you are gone is going to be really hard to handle.
My love for you is going to be forevermore.
Text by Letters in Quotes®.
Photo by Jake Thacker.